Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
The beers last night were like the tears from god
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
