At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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