We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize