Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Success! We fucked roommates!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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