i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
