i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Randomize
