How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I will pee on everything he values.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
