Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
