I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize