im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
