but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We don't watch enough power rangers
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Randomize
