Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
