they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
