just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
