He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
