You made me cry and you don't even care
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
