May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
