am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
