Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
