if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
