The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
