I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
