Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
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