So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
It's blow job season.
I didn't notice because vodka
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Randomize
