i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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