$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
