windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
