If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
