I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
