When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize