A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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