Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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