i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
