her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
