I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
