"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
