I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize