is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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