there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
