I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
