Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
