I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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