I look better un-naked...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
