What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
