I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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