How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I have fence marks all over my body
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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