You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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