I think my vagina is haunted
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
