I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
