I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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