I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
