You were right. It hurts to walk today.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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