Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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