Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
