ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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