So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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