i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
