Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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