He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
