3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
