i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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